Friday, June 3, 2011

ACCEPTANCE

Accept:
1a: to receive willingly
1b: to be able or designed to take hold

David Bear broke his eyeglasses yesterday before our walk. Needless to say, our walk was quite interesting. We had to grab non-prescription sunglasses since I don't believe he has ever been outside without sunglasses. He was fine as long as we were inside our cul-de-sac, but as soon as we turned the corner to the busy street he grabbed hold of me quite tightly. I used to think that he grabbed my hand or arm because he was being a baby, but now I know it’s for guidance so I grabbed him back. I could tell he wasn’t being a butthead when he didn’t move for the on-coming bike (who should not have been on the sidewalk!) but that he couldn’t see the bike, so I told him what was going on. It took us a lot longer for our walk, but it was a walk worth taking.

As soon as we came home, I finished the paperwork for the Braille Institute and enrolled him in their summer program. It’s only taken 12 years, 11 months and 13 days for me to accept his doctor’s initial diagnosis, but my son is blind. He can’t see. After 12+ years of “Can you see …?” I am probably as tired of asking the question as he is of hearing it.

“No, Mommy. I can’t see,” is what he should say.


That would saved us both a lot of words over the past decade or so.

“No Mommy. I have no idea what a mountain is. I was looking at the top of the house across the street and I thought it was a mountain. That’s why the picture I drew you of a mountain looks like that.”


Well that explains that.

“No Mommy. I can’t color in-between the lines because I can’t see the line and oh yeah, I’m spastic. Didn’t the doctors tell you I had cerebral palsy?”


Well yeah, but I just thought that meant you would walk with a limp. (long story)

“No Mommy. I really am trying, but I just can’t remember the multiplication table.”


I threw that last one in. I still don't get why you can remember all the Pokemon, the strengths and weaknesses, and recount every battle but can't differentiate between the Associative and Distributive properties.

It’s okay David Bear. Mommy and Daddy understand. We love you. We accept you. We did not willingly receive the diagnosis, but we are able to take a hold of it and help you through it.

2 comments:

  1. Until I wrote this, I hadn't thought about the possibility that Bear has never been outside without sunglasses. Even at age two he had eyeglasses that automatically tinted because his eyes were so light sensitive. I have no idea how to address that.

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  2. My son is no quitter. He has fought for every breath, every thought, every accomplishment. He is my inspiration in this crazy world.

    David E. Rozier, Sr.

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